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If you consider yourself a 'good guy,' the alarm bells should be ringing in your head, too.&quot,
I’m A Woman Who Did A Solo Walk Across Europe. Here’s The 1 Thing Most Men — Even The ‘Good Guys’ — Don’t Understand. My physical therapist and I we re chatting about his recent trip to the Alaskan wilderness while he watched me do another slow squat.

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I almost sank to the ground when he said, “It’s necessary, now and then, to be in the presence of grizzly bears. To be reminded that we are not the apex predators.” Women do not need to go to Alaska to be taught this lesson (nor does anyone who isn’t an able-bodied, heterosexual white man). Women constantly face real danger while we are just trying to navigate our lives, out in the world and, for some, sadly, at home. My physical therapist was unironically proud of his humility. Humility is a start, but it isn’t what women need from men. We need empathy. Psychologist Marshall Rosenberg, who developed nonviolent communication, said, “ Our ability to offer empathy can allow us to stay vulnerable, defuse potential violence.” The physical therapist is helping me recover from a knee surgery and prepare me for my hike next summer, 3,000 miles along the Continental Divide Trail. But he is not the only apex predator to set my teeth on edge. Because of my online searches for a lightweight tent and a water filter more effective than the heavy dinosaur I’ve been hauling around for years, the all-knowing algorithm has blessed my feed with clips and reels of rosy-cheeked long-distance hikers, newly off-trail and still flush with exhilaration. In one interview, I watched a young man who is asked, “Why? Why do it?” As if they have all memorized the same script, he answers, “When was the last time you were in danger? Real physical danger?” Could he be any more oblivious? I believe the enthusiastic young man in the interview, like my physical therapist, is well-intentioned. He has gone through an empowering experience and wants to encourage others to do the same. But his journey only reconfirmed what he has already been taught by our culture. He emerges all-powerful or, in other words, unchanged. Women need men — the real apex predators — to understand the danger they pose to us. At the moment, our country is backsliding. Women are being stripped of our right to bodily autonomy in a way that men would never tolerate and, historically, have never had to. In his confirmation hearing for a seat on the Supreme Court, Brett Kavanaugh famously drew a blank when Kamala Harris asked him to think of a law — any law — that affected only men’s bodies. We just elected an adjudicated abuser for president. The clear signal to men: Women are prey. We are still prey. Many men, and even young boys, have heard that message and are now gleefully chanting, “Your body, my choice.” In our patriarchal culture, where power is concentrated among men, their survival does not depend on empathy. Ours does. The point, however, is not to make men feel as unsafe as women do — that will only encourage them to scramble for more power. The goal is for men to want women to be as safe as men are, to understand that we are not, and to act toward a real remedy: changing the assumptions and behaviors of men. What if, during the interview, the hiker had wondered: When was the last time someone else experienced real physical danger? Imagine him asking someone and listening to their response. Or just using his own imagination to supply answers. How do we encourage men to notice — and care — about a truth they mostly don’t experience? We must teach them, one conversation at a time. This is an unfair burden, but I believe it is the only way. It’s tempting to tell men to figure it out on their own, and I would never judge anyone for saying, “Nope, I choose not to do this work.” Whether women engage in teaching conversations is — always — our choice.













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